A Lot Can Happen in a Year.

I had just moved back to Nevada and I was NOT ready to go back to church. Last year, (in 2023) I couldn't even force myself to attend a church on Easter Sunday. At that time, if someone had told me what my year was going to look like, I would not have believed them! A year later, I was on stage sharing about the love of Christ on Easter Sunday!  When I look back over this past year, I realize it is not the time that changed my life, but the timing of God that changed everything.

We sometimes think that surrendering to God and to His way is an impossible feat. It can feel  like a big ask. The idea of surrender may feel like a risk. Like we are being asked to swing the door wide open after it's been shut for a long, long time. We have a choice to remain cocooned within the safety of that enclosed, small space if we just shut God and people out. But in reality, when God asks us to surrender He is not asking for a big swinging door. He is looking for a crack. Just a crack in the facade. An opening so small nothing could get in but His Spirit.

For me, the crack in my facade was a willingness to send my resume for a job that I didn’t even know if I really wanted.  It was for a creative arts job here at The Rock Church. It felt like quite a reach but I sent it anyway.  I could've said "no". I could've ran in the other direction. I could've ignored the ad and I could have settled for less. After all, I was used to doing all of those things.

But I had reached the point in my life where I was so tired of being alone, of living life independently and all by myself, I was willing to risk. For my whole life I had invested my all into the local church, into participating in God's activity in the lives of people. But that all fell apart and I was left standing in wreckage. In disillusionment and sorrow, I spent 7 years away from the church, without a place of belonging and connection, without feeling a sense of purpose, I wondered if I'd be in that place forever.

After my parents died, I spent a year in Europe. Looking for direction. Seeking peace. I began to choose to press into God, to lean into the words He was speaking to my heart. I began to try to trust in Him again. Strangely and unexpectedly He directed me back to Nevada.  A place that held so much pain and loss, but had also been my home for most of my adult life. A place that I had prayed over and believed for.  Nevada was a  place that I knew and know that God loves. The people and the place held great significance in my life.  So, I moved back home in faith that God would do something, I just had no idea what that would look like.

After submitting my resume, I was invited in for an interview and was introduced to some of the staff.  Stepping through the door of a church where I didn't know people, didn't know the culture, and didn't know if I would find belonging was a stretch!  After getting to know some of the people I began to feel that familiar desire for belonging. Then the leadership let me know that they gave the position I had applied for to someone else. The very next thing I heard was a question. They asked if I would consider another position, that of Pastor. What in the world? I would have never even applied for the role of pastor, but God knew the truth. He knew that my love for the house of God, for His people, and for seeing health come to a community was what I was made for.

When I finally accepted the position at the Rock, it took me some time to acclimate. Sometimes when people who go through trauma of any kind they are sometimes a bit more withdrawn and observant and I definitely had those tendencies. I slowly discovered that this place provides an opportunity for each person to discover who Jesus is to them, and to discover more and more of His kindness and love without religious dogma and rules being shoved down their throats.

As the months passed, I came to trust the team. I slowly began to step back into the role of leadership, and to understand who the people of The Rock were, and begin to discover what part I could play in the process.

The very first class I decided to teach was with a group of about 10 women and they were so kind and so open, it allowed me time to step back into the role of teacher in a non-threatening environment. The same goes for the prayer team. Whether teaching or actively leading in prayer, I found room to express my love for Jesus in a way that was encouraging.

I have discovered that every person at The Rock has a story. Some are stories of pain and past rejection, some are stories of searching for belonging without ever finding it, and some just walk through our doors looking for a safe space to simply be who they authentically are. Vulnerability is actually applauded and celebrated here. In all my years of service in the church world, I had never experienced this facet of life. Trusting those around me enough to be truly vulnerable was never a possibility in my previous life.

One thing that I was surprised by was the way in which participation is encouraged and expressed here at the Rock. In all my previous years of leadership, it sometimes felt that leadership had to coerce involvement out of people to make everything work. Or on the flipside, people had to look perfect and say things just the right way to be allowed into "the club" and prove their worthiness to serve in any capacity. To have the opportunity to come alongside others and grow without being forced to change, is truly a novel approach to life in the church.

I also love how transformation stories are celebrated here. If you have been touched by the love of God then you know, we don't transform very well on our own. Having Jesus involved in our lives gives us courage to do what we might not do on our own. It makes us feel secure, knowing we know we are not alone.

In my first year at The Rock I have met so many authentic people, volunteered in the kitchen with so many big hearted people, prayed for so many genuine prayer requests and I have seen God move. I have discovered that the heart of the Gospel, the good news, is still good! Methods and means can change, but the heart of the Gospel remains the same. He is for us! He is with us!

As I write about this last year of my life, I hope it has helped you examine the cracks of your own life. We mourn the losses. We regret the cracks we see in our well constructed lives and all of the efforts we put into them, only to see them crumble. I want to suggest to you that you can reframe the way you look at those places of your life. Those very cracked, broken spaces just might be an invitation to His goodness. So don't hide it, don't cover it up or try to repair it on your own. He is actively looking for the cracks. Allow God to take all the pieces of your life and put them together into something brand new. He can do it! I look back over my year and am utterly amazed by what I see. I am held by His kindness and astounded at His ability to restore. I hope this gives you hope that He can transform any situation in your life too.